A Special Message from the President of Galactico Extruded Plastics

The following is a message from the president of Musings of Great Import, Inc.’s parent company, Galactico Extruded Plastics:



Dear Reading Public,

As president of MGI, Inc.’s parent company, I found yesterday’s post on this blogue quite nettlesome indeed. It was brought to my attention when I saw my dear wife, Winifred, in a high state of agitation after having located this blogue on her Computing-Machine. “Winny,” cried I, “is it the vapors again? Come, come now, tell your Toodles what has upset you!” Unable to speak, she directed me with shaking hand to the viewing screen of her Computing-Machine. And there I beheld a sight most unworthy of dear Winifred's delicate sensibilities. I needn’t describe it in detail; surely all of you on the Inter-Net have seen it: a military man made to look like a nancy boy. Shocking to the extreme.

Be assured, dear readers, I was as swift in action as I was in judgment. Within the hour I had this Mr. Schprock in my office, kowtowing and quaking as he witnessed my wrathful visage. “Have I been too indulgent?” asked I, raising my voice to be heard over his knocking knees. “Was that six-pence-per-hour raise I granted you a license to commit such tomfoolery? Well, answer me, sir, if you have a tongue in your head!” And, I may say, he put his tongue to good effect as he used it to splutter his apologies and promises to mend his ways. He is, I think, a good lad, and I, for my part, have given him too much freedom. Doubtless, his mind has been warped by all the poppycock one sees nowadays on the Tele-Vision (also known as “Tee-Vee”). Mrs. Toodlebottom and I stopped watching Tee-Vee after the Milton Bearle Show was canceled, but I am well aware of the insidious, evil effects Tele-Vision has on the public, particularly the simple-minded.

Readers, I served our country as a doughboy during the Great War. I can assure you that there were no effete shenanigans going on back then, and I am quite sure the same stands true for the military of today. There was one fellow in our outfit, a Quentin Delancy by name, who did a thing or two faintly suggestive of the fairy, such as an over-fastidiousness of dress and the like, but our sergeant soon put things aright. One sultry morning, he had our company form up on the parade grounds, and then he ordered Quenty (for so we called him) to step out of rank, stand before us, strip, and perform 100 push-ups. We watched as Quenty did as the sergeant ordered, all of us mesmerized while the beads of sweat, like small, glistening, clear jewels, formed on his firm, smooth buttocks, and his sinewy arms pumped steadily up and down, up and down with the rapidity and undiminishing power of a pile driver at full steam. One of our company, Percy Shivvels, grew quite faint at the sight, but Horace McKinnon and I kept him standing until Quenty was done. That was how we dealt with such matters back then, and damned effective it was!

So be assured, dear readers, that nothing of this kind will deface this blogue again. You have my solemn word on it.

Yours very sincerely,
Thaddeus P. Toodlebottom
President
Galactico Extruded Plastics