Jackie Bradley Junior!

The Red Sox have a hot new player who everyone thinks should start the season with the big club and win Rookie of the Year and the American League MVP. His name is Jackie Bradley Junior and that's how his name is always said. Never "Bradley" or "Jackie" or "Jackie Bradley." Always "Jackie Bradley Junior." Usually when you get the constant "Junior" there's a notable "Senior," such as Ken Griffey Senior. The only thing I know about Jackie Bradley, Sr. is that he contributed the critical genetic material that went into the creation of the hardball phenom known as Jackie Bradley, Jr.

To me, Jackie Bradley, Jr. isn't a baseball name. It's more of an Ed Sullivan Show name. (Readers under 45, please Google and report back. And keep Google on standby.) I imagine sequined suits, big band music with lots of brass, sold-out Las Vegas shows, and "Ladies and gentlemen, Caesar's Palace is proud to present, Mr. Entertainment himself, Jackie . . . Bradley . . . Junior!" Jackie Bradley, Jr. should have a Christmas album. There should be pictures of Jackie Bradley, Jr. hamming it up with the Beatles, Jackie Bradley, Jr. on a yacht with Jackie O, Jackie Bradley, Jr. playing golf with Bob Hope, Jackie Bradley, Jr. at Elvis' funeral, Jackie Bradley, Jr. singing "We Are the World,"  Jackie Bradley, Jr. in Africa with Elizabeth Taylor, Jackie Bradley, Jr. playing golf with Bill Clinton, Jackie Bradley, Jr. in conference with Bishop Tutu, Jackie Bradley, Jr. in conference with Pope John Paul II, Jackie Bradley, Jr. headlining the Super Bowl halftime show, Jackie Bradley, Jr. playing golf with George W., Jackie Bradley, Jr. and Barry Obama going one-on-one in a friendly game of basketball.

But he is, as I say, a baseball player.