Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Free at Last!

It’s nearly 10:00am on a workday and I’m at home with my faithful cat by my side. The whole day stretches out before me like a blank canvas. I can do with it what I want. I can waste time or use it profitably — it’s entirely up to me. What a country!

The catalog job I’ve been continually moaning about is still not completely out the door, but my colleagues are more than able to finish dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s. Something I’ve been threatening to do for years is to one day come into work on a day off with a sandwich and Thermos, plop myself down at the conference table and watch everyone work. Not help, mind you, but just sit back and enjoy the show. Today, I think, would be the day to do it. The final remnant of the catalog job has to do with the index and “black plate layers,” and I know some salty language and entertaining melodrama is sure to happen. I could sit there sipping my coffee and nibbling my scone and say things like, “Is anyone ever gonna answer that phone?” or “That job has to go out today, you know.” And then there’s: “My, everyone seems so stressed today! Perhaps a bit more productivity would make things go smoother.”

Do you think they’d mind?

Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

13 Comments:

Blogger Spirit Of Owl said...

The Smith would probably appreciate your efforts LOL! Whatever you choose to do, I hope you have a completely great time. You've obviously earned it.

By the way, thanks for the plug in the comments for the last post. I'm extremely flattered. :)

8:12 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

No way Mr. Schprock, you'd get sucked into the melodrama and spoil your time off. The only way to enjoy it is to employ the invisibility cloak.

8:27 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

OMIGOD, I like your style, but would so kill you if you were doing that to me!

9:59 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"By the way, thanks for the plug in the comments for the last post. I'm extremely flattered. :)"

Well earned, Mr. Owl. I'll be coming back for more shortly.

"No way Mr. Schprock, you'd get sucked into the melodrama and spoil your time off."

The only thing to spoil it would be the beating I'd so richly deserve.


"OMIGOD, I like your style, but would so kill you if you were doing that to me!"

Don't you understand? That's the fun of it! Besides, with torture only legal for the CIA, what else am I left with for amusement?

10:12 AM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

Do you have a strong enough will to actually go into work and not do anything? I don't think I could do it. My lack of patients for anyone screwing up my stuff would overwhelm me and I'd end up at the computer fixing it all.
And it isn't like my job is rocket science!!

2:50 PM  
Blogger Chloe said...

They'd have you wearing that scone and the contents of your thermos in no time. Which in itself would make for an entertaining post, provided you posted pics :)

3:13 PM  
Blogger Jaxx said...

Whenever time off is involved, my policy is to avoid the office at all costs. As tempting as it may be to hang out and torture your co-workers, the odds are far too great that you would end up doing actual work. In the quest to torture others, you end up being the tortured.

6:25 PM  
Blogger boo said...

how nice. lucky u. i endeavor to be a master @ doing nothing. enjoy.

6:17 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"Do you have a strong enough will to actually go into work and not do anything?"

Not doing anything is a lifelong goal of mine.


"They'd have you wearing that scone and the contents of your thermos in no time."

With the tar and feathers UPS accidentally delivered to our office? Not likely.


"In the quest to torture others, you end up being the tortured."

The horror. The horror.

6:18 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"how nice. lucky u. i endeavor to be a master @ doing nothing. enjoy."

Just watch me!

6:19 AM  
Blogger boo said...

*watches*

nice moves.

5:46 PM  
Blogger trinamick said...

I think you should use my favorite:

"If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean." Rhymey AND annoying.

11:11 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean."

That's one old saying my wife shall never learn, so help me.

7:15 AM  

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