Dude Looks Like a Lady

Hey folks, please pardon my absence from Blogdom, but I’ve been a bit busy lately racking up hours on the old time sheet. This big project I’ve been working on since God was in knee pants and the world was still flat is finally, mercifully, coming to an end. I think when it started my braces had just come off, and now here I am shopping around for dentures. When this project is over I swear I won’t know what to do with myself.

Last Saturday I had to work. Toward 5:00, I found myself sprinting to the local FedEx office to drop off a package before it closed — to my horror they had already turned off the lights, but one of them grudgingly accepted my package after I banged on the door with a tragic expression on my face. As I walked back to the office, I spied two tall, hot-looking girls with poofy blonde hair and miniskirts, towering over the retinue they were traveling with, coming my way. As the distance between us closed, I noticed they really seemed pretty big and rather muscular for women. Coming still nearer, I made this astounding discovery: they were guys! Of course! Then I spent an hour or so reexamining my feelings.

The Gay Pride Day parade had been held that afternoon and these two amazons were evidently either onlookers or participants of the event. When I got home, Daughter Number 2 (the one with the flaming pink mohawk) informed me that she and her friends has gone to watch the parade. “So what did you think of it?” I asked. “Well,” she said, “the lesbians seem to really like me. They hit on me all day.” “Oh really? What did you do?” “When I told one of them I was straight, she said, ‘I can be a man for you, honey.’”

Of course I teased DN2 quite a bit after that, but for crying out loud, she’s is only 15!