Monday, September 19, 2005


I’ve seen this happen to other people as I’ve lurked and rambled my way through the blogiverse. In every instance I’ve shaken my head, made the sign of the cross and murmured, “Pity,” thinking this sort of thing could never happen to me. I know it strikes without warning, and suddenly you, the victim, are duty-bound to answer the call as faithfully and honorably as you can. Once tagged, you’re utterly defenseless. No level of martial arts training can prevent or deflect it; prevarication and obfuscation will do you no good, because you are as exposed as an amoeba on a glass slide, laid bare to universal scrutiny. You must act, and act without a single option other than to do what you have been directed to. There is no way out.

Harry Potter fans, this is as close to the Imperious Curse as we muggles can get: the meme. The lovely and talented Chloe has tagged me with seven questions (seven, of course, being the most magical number) and I must respond to them. But be warned, O ye regular readers, for the seventh question will hit close to home. Very close to home. Beware! BEWARE! Bwahahahahaha!

Ahem. (cough)

Seven Answers to Seven Questions

Seven things I plan to do before I die:

1) Go on a cross-country bicycle trip

2) Publish something — anything

3) Do all I can to foster prosperity for my two daughters

4) Adopt a little doggy and name it George

5) Cycle 100 miles on my 80th birthday

6) Strictly follow the Three Laws of Robotics for one week . . . just for kicks

7) Stay indoors for one whole day and — after rising early, running and showering — just read, watch movies, drink decaf espresso mochas, eat and nap

Seven things I can do:

1) Pedal a bicycle really far

2) Draw silly pictures

3) Stand on my head

4) Walk like an Egyptian

5) Make an awesome breakfast

6) Imitate this guy I used to work with in 1986

7) Watch old movies too corny for most people

Seven things I cannot do:

1) Dance in any formalized way

2) Swim strokes that require putting my face in the water

3) Sing

4) Finish reading a bad book

5) The Five Point Palm Exploding-Heart Technique

6) Tell a joke without laughing before I can say the punchline

7) Care about hockey

Seven things that attract me to another person:

1) Intelligence

2) Sense of humor

3) Unpredictability

4) Loyalty

5) Pleasing odors

6) Those who have a tendency to push me to do things I don’t want to do but wind up being good for me in the end

7) No prior criminal record

Seven things I say most often:

1) Mama mia!

2) Inane quote du jour (lately it’s been, “Hello, my name is Mr. Snrub. Yes. That will do.”)

3) Christ!

4) You slay me, you know that?

5) I think not.

6) It was Colonel Mustard, in the conservatory, with the pipe wrench

7) Rosebud!

Seven celebrity crushes:

1) Keira Knightly

2) Keira Knightly

3) Keira Knightly

4) Keira Knightly

5) Keira Knightly

6) Keira Knightly

7) The girl in that movie I saw who looks a little like Keira Knightly

Seven bloggers I'm tagging:

1) Trinamick

2) Nypinta

3) Henry

4) Scott

5) Ryan

6) John

7) Michele (for her inaugural post!)


Blogger Scott said...

Gosh, thanks for the tag. Look for my response tomorrow. I'll have to think about who to tag though. Good one: Walk Like an Egyptian. Interesting choice for celebrity crush, she isn't so obvious. I looked her up via google and gained an immediate appreciation however.

7:59 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Keira Knightly is so impossibly beautiful, I quite frankly doubt she exists in real life.

I look forward to reading your answers.

8:05 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

AUUUGGGGHHH! I been tagged like a deer! Well, Chloe tagged me too, so you're only getting one response! Ha!

8:12 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"Well, Chloe tagged me too, so you're only getting one response! Ha!"

Why you…!??!

Nevertheless, this oughta be good.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Chloe said...

Aww, Mr. Schprock, hockey ain't so bad! Except when they cancel the season. And then when they start up again, make the few fans who are left buy a special package in order to watch any games since ESPN has said "no dice!"

On second thought, hockey has made me sad. Very very sad. Your post, on the other hand, made me happy. Very very happy.

10:00 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"Aww, Mr. Schprock, hockey ain't so bad! Except when they cancel the season."

Oh, I like it when they cancel the season!

Actually, I really enjoy watching hockey games live.

10:17 AM  
Blogger Henry said...

Why did I bother to read Schprocks witticisms today?

11:55 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

" Why did I bother to read Schprocks witticisms today? Why????"


12:04 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...


2:29 PM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

It's not due today is it?

2:29 PM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Well, no . . . but I wouldn't put it off.

2:44 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I have a cold, my throat hurts, and I'm laughing while coughing reading some of these answers. Rosebud! Walk like an egyptian!

8:20 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Beth, brew up some hot lemon and honey tea. Good for you.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Spirit Of Owl said...

I bet Keira Knightly knows The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique. Or at least A Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

You know, there's so many jokes in there on so many levels that I think I'll just stop there and you can find the ones you like. :)

11:44 AM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

Dude, I saw that movie . . . that girl didn't look anything like Kiera Knightly.

Ben O.

5:04 PM  
Blogger :phil: said...

I'd love to join you on your century ride. It sounds more feasible then doing 80 miles on your 100th birthday

Keira Knightly, wow!
(I'm a new fan)

5:16 AM  
Blogger Flash said...

Keira Knightly is a fox. And if she does know The Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique, well...I couldn't think of a better way to die.

Yes I can...But that's a whole other post...

Great responses by the way.

7:36 AM  
Blogger Paul (rock star wanna be) said...

Where'd ya go?? Please come back...

8:20 AM  
Blogger Mona said...

GREAT list of seven things you'd like to do. And by the way, just because you don't sing in key, doesn't mean you can't sing at all. You still have the right to do so as you please...don't give up one of the few outlets of expression. Unless, of course, standing on your head gives you a great outlet ;)

I've been out of the loop for awhile and I've missed you Mr. Schprock!

5:05 PM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Thanks everybody for your responses. I'm so busy I can't even breathe right now, but I hope to post and comment on your posts soon.

4:33 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home