Monday, August 21, 2006

Forbidden Fruit

What’s your favorite food? If you were marooned on a desert island and allowed only one food, what would it be, this one thing you desire above all others and will never tire of? Is it something fancy with an unpronounceable French name, or is it something the French might call Le Big Mac? Is it spicy or sweet, salty or fatty, all natural or conceived in a laboratory? Is it good for you or bad for you? Would your dentist approve or disapprove? What is it?

The food I love most in this world is a fresh, plump, red, juicy tomato. I like to eat tomatoes like apples, sprinkling a little salt on the bite mark before I go in for another chomp. This year my fondest prayers were answered when the missus planted a garden that has yielded a bumper crop of cherry tomatoes and regular tomatoes. A couple of weeks ago, the harvest began.

Ah, but here’s the problem: tomatoes make my face break out! It’s true. Even though I turned 50 this year, in this one respect I’m still a part of the Clearasil generation. I’ve battled acne all my life and have taken medication for it since junior high. The medication works very well, but modern science still hasn’t come up with the answer for the tomato, and now I’m suffering from over-indulging in my personal forbidden fruit. Last week my face was literally sore and took on the topography of the Appalachian mountain chain. Since then I’ve stopped eating tomatoes and things are returning to normal, but every time I walk into the kitchen what do I see but mounds of delicious, shiny, red tomatoes calling out to me! Why? Why is life so unfair?

********

Well, if anyone ever wondered what goes on in the mind of your humble servant, what truly makes him tick, you may end this speculation and find out for yourself. The fabulous Flood has interviewed yours truly in her blog, an interview which will no doubt lead her to block my access to it forever. Please, no frivolous lawsuits if learning my innermost thoughts and desires leads to hysterical blindness, uncontrollable facial tics, extreme mental anguish or other such maladies. You’ve been warned.

24 Comments:

Blogger Flood said...

Schprock, thanks for a really great interview. It was as fun to do as I hoped it would be.

Sorry about your face.

5:30 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

Thanks, Flood. That was a lot of fun.

My face is settling down very nicely. I'm about ready to take the "Elephant Man" hood off my head soon.

5:59 AM  
Blogger Scott said...

I love beef stroganof. I don't know why, but it is absolutely the most delicious meal I can imagine.

For me, I can't eat buttered popcorn for the same reason.

Loved the interview. I'm glad you participated.

6:05 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

I don't know if this is true, but I read tomatoes are a form of nightshade therefore a high percentage of the population get sick from them and actually have problems like acne, etc., from them. Since I have so many allergies, I used to haved an allergist and he told me, "What you crave the most is usually what you are most allergic to." (he ended the sentence with a preposition, not me) Anyhow, I know this is true because I'm allergic to pork and yet it's my favorite meat. =(

If I was on a desserted island, I would want steak. I just feel like I wouldn't have another protein source available to me and I'll admit it, I like the taste.

I'm checking out the interview now.

8:15 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

I'd like to have Indian tacos with me on my island. I mean, venison steak with mushroom gravy over mashed potatoes is actually my favorite food, but it would probably be easier to find Indians on my island than deer.

My sister can't eat watermelon. She loves it madly, but it makes her throat itch really bad. Then the rest of us are forced to listen to her clearing her throat for the next six hours.

8:28 AM  
Anonymous Derek said...

One food? Just one?

Gawd.

It's got to be coffee, I guess. Stupid addiction...

8:38 AM  
Blogger briliantdonkey said...

Well, if I HAD to pick JUST one.....I would go with Lasagna. Now if you said just one MEAL, I may lean towards potroast with Mashed potatoes, gravy,Blackeyed peas, and corn.....
Great interview as I said over on Flood's blog. Thanks for participating.

BD

9:32 AM  
Blogger Kathleen said...

Schprockie - I love tomatoes, and am very thankful that they do not make me break out. My favorite food though is probably garlic mashed potatoes with lots of extra butter. YUMMY. Find your local The Body Shop store. They have this little teatree oil blemish stick (or something like that) and it kicks pimples' butts! I had one I was fighting for a month and finally remembered it and I used it once and the evil little sucker was gone.

9:50 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"For me, I can't eat buttered popcorn for the same reason."

I can't eat buttered popcorn because it makes me feel gross.

"What you crave the most is usually what you are most allergic to."

Put that right up with, "If it tastes good, it must be bad for you."


"I'd like to have Indian tacos with me on my island."

I don't know what distinguishes Indian tacos from other tacos, but I surely do dig tacos.


"It's got to be coffee, I guess. Stupid addiction..."

Gotta have coffee.


"Well, if I HAD to pick JUST one.....I would go with Lasagna."

Didn't they serve lasagna at the Last Supper? I think that's what Jesus asked for.


"My favorite food though is probably garlic mashed potatoes with lots of extra butter."

I adore garlic mashed potatoes. Good choice, Kathleen.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Wordnerd said...

Yikes, I don't think I can narrow my food favorites down to one thing - particularly if it's the ONLY thing I could eat. I do love homegrown tomatoes and had a bumper crop of them myself this year.

Can't tell you how much I enjoyed your interview. Flood did a fantastic job with it, and I can't help but think that in the future, when you're a famous writer (because I know you will be), that interview will re-surface.

Glad I'm one of 'em that "knew ya when."

11:44 AM  
Blogger John said...

I'd take an offical Wilson AVP volleyball, that I would befriend and cannibalize.

12:25 PM  
Blogger LL said...

One food? Not a chance...

Great interview, and interviewer.

Most people don't give the questioner enough credit. After all, if they are too involved, it becomes about them not the one being interviewed, but if their questions suck, there's no recovery either. Bravo to both of you!

" I don't know if this is true, but I read tomatoes are a form of nightshade"

That is indeed true. They are both in the nightshade family. And are both just as vile... *blech* Erm... I mean... you all can have my share.

1:05 PM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"Can't tell you how much I enjoyed your interview."

Thanks, WN. I really enjoyed working with Flood on that.


"I'd take an offical Wilson AVP volleyball, that I would befriend and cannibalize."

You like 'em light and airy on the inside, eh?

"Most people don't give the questioner enough credit."

Absolutely. And let me tell you, for someone to decide to do this on her own, put in the time and energy, is something special.

2:15 PM  
Anonymous fringes said...

Marooned on a desert island, I'd take seafood. Can I have a cutie to spear bluefish for me? I'm also liking prawns lately. Do I get wine, too?

Great interview at Flood's.

4:02 PM  
Blogger Writing Blind said...

Macaroni and cheese, hands-down. The Velveeta kind, with the big bag of fake cheese. Mmmm....cheesy goodness.

That was a great interview, by the way. You could in fact be the funniest person on earth. Or at least in Boston. I don't really know everyone on the planet so I can't say for sure.

7:18 PM  
Blogger Ben O. said...

This one is easy - French Fries...early and often.

Ben O.

7:06 AM  
Blogger mr. schprock said...

"Marooned on a desert island, I'd take seafood. Can I have a cutie to spear bluefish for me? I'm also liking prawns lately. Do I get wine, too?"

Well, why don't we ask for a formal table setting, a candle and a violinist while we're at it?


"Macaroni and cheese, hands-down. The Velveeta kind, with the big bag of fake cheese. Mmmm....cheesy goodness."

Hey! Let's not get all gourmet on me.


"This one is easy - French Fries...early and often."

McDonald's or Burger King?

7:45 AM  
Blogger trinamick said...

"I don't know what distinguishes Indian tacos from other tacos, but I surely do dig tacos."

Indian tacos are made on Indian fry bread instead of a taco shell. Then pile the fixins high and deep. It's a heart attack waiting to happen. I hope the island has a gym.

8:12 AM  
Blogger mcBlogger said...

My heart goes out to you. I love tomatoes also. Finely sliced and placed gingerly betwixt two slices of freshly popped toast, with a very light spread of mayo, some salt and pepper to taste, and mmmmm yuummyy!!! Have you tried Benadril? It'll make you sleapy but you might fall asleep happy. :)

9:22 AM  
Blogger tiff said...

favorite food = a wedge of iceberd lettuce with a squeeze of lemon.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Fried chicken.

Now, do you have any trailers of Lola la Loca you can put up here?

10:27 AM  
Blogger Flash said...

Chipotle Chicken burritos. I can't get enough of them. I think for a week I ate one a day, and still wanted to go there for a late night snack. Now just to find a desserted island with a Chipotle...

And love the interview. Nice work!

11:12 AM  
Blogger NYPinTA said...

McDonald's or Burger King?

That's rhetorical, right? Everyone knows that McD's fries are King. (It's the sugar they put on them.)

I'm having a hard time making my choice. Will I be stuck on this island with everyone else? Because I would be willing to share my shrimp scampi with a light garlic sauce over linguini for the occasional steak and garlic mashed potatoes or some lasagna. Yummy!

And for desert? A seven layer chocolate cake from the Vanilla Bean Co here in upstate NY. Proof of Heaven!

2:52 PM  
Blogger magnetbabe said...

I'd have to go with mangoes. I can't get enough of them when they are in season. They are the only food that makes me think maybe God does exist.

Scott~
Do you have a good beef stroganoff recipe? If not, I have a fantastic one I can pass along to you.

5:29 PM  
Blogger Prashanth said...

Lovely post and great interview. And I find a lot to learn from your writing. Glad I chanced upon your blog.

Your 'Tomatoes' post had me hark back one of my earlier posts on 'Peaches', on my blog: http://ebytes.blogspot.com/2006/08/story-2.html

Would love to hear what you might have to say about that. From one foodie to another, eh?

Marooned on a island. Hmmmmmm. I vote for an abundance of ripening pineapple trees on it.

I get off Tomatoes, really. As is. Love them that way. Also makes me think of Virgin Mary, heh. There! For some odd reason... Chicken Stroganoff flashes in my head.

:) Cheers

1:24 AM  

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